God, You are... Glory.

To tell the truth I've been having a bad last week or so. First off, I'm sick. That goes away; I'll be ok. But then it seems like I've been making all the wrong choices. I don't say the right things, do the right things, act the right way... nothing. And I know that I'm making bad choices. I just can't stop. There's the verse that says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23 I believe? 6:23? I could look it up but then I'd lose my train of thought. Anyways, my point is that God is glory and we can't match up to Him. Ever. I had a bad week, but it will get better. If I look to God I, myself, will get better. But I will never be glory. I will never be perfect. I will always be human. I can strive to be godly, but I can never be God. That's all I have for today so, peace.

God, You are... Faithful.

"If we are faithless, he remains faithful"
-2 Timothy 2:13

God is always there for you. Unlike people who will leave, disown, and persecute you, you can always have faith in God. He will never leave you. People say when you can't turn to anyone else, turn to God. And I find that so incorrect because we should turn to God even when we can turn to other people. I want to be closer to God. I want to depend on His faithfulness. There's that old hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness." I hate hymns. But each time I hear this song and I listen to the words and decipher what they are saying, I am reminded how great and faithful our God really is. We can ALWAYS depend on Him.

God, You are... Everything.

Now, I by NO means am making a pantheistic statement here. Pantheism is when one believes that God is everything and everything is God... meaning EVERYTHING. Like this chair I'm sitting on, that tree, my cat, and even yourself. So. There's my disclaimer. Don't take me out of context.
Anyways...
What I'm meaning is that God is everything to me. He is my life, or should be. It reminds me of that song "Everything" by Lifehouse. It's a beautiful song and I'll post the lyrics at the end of this. Actually, I'm just not going to say anything else because the song says it all. Enjoy!

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Click here to listen.

God, You are... Demanding.

We tend to think of demanding as a bad word with negative connotations. But in this case, that couldn't be farther from the truth. God demands our whole hearts, minds, and souls. He demands that we live for Him and do everything for His glory. He demands our time, money, and service. He demands that we sacrifice. And ironically, if you do turn all those things over and live for Him, you're so much better off. God demands that we stop demanding our lives. He wants all of it. And I want to give Him my whole life. I want to lose control and give Him what he demands. Easier said than done, I know. But that is my goal. And I hope that through this "God, You Are" challenge and getting rid of some bad habits I can achieve that goal.

God, You are... Comforting.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
-2 Corinthians 1:3-4

And that's just it. We are to comfort, because God is comforting. We are to be like Him in any way, shape, or form, and just comforting people when they're down is a great place to start. Sometimes it's really hard to look to God when you're down. It doesn't even matter how severe it is. You could just be sick. Or upset that a friend is upset. Or someone may have genuinely wronged you. Or you could be having work troubles;) And it's times like that when we can't depend on ourselves that we have to look to God. It's extremely difficult, but relieving. You lose all your pride, but you also gain so much trust in God. Being comforted is bittersweet because you are basically saying that no, you can't handle it all on your own. You need someone. And that someone is God. I will strive to find my comfort and solace in God, and in turn point others that direction.

God, You are... Beautiful.

Beautiful as defined by Dictionary.com: "having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind; excellent of its kind."
And that's just it. God is every single one of those. He pleases me, I like to see, hear, and think about Him, and he is certainly excellent.
I really like art. Music, painting, sculptures, dancing... any sort of art is genuinely beautiful to me. I like to study it and figure out why it's so beautiful. I mean, besides being beautiful, there has to be some sort of concrete element that draws me to it. And that's what this whole "God, You Are" thing is about. I want to focus on what makes God so beautiful and draws me to His essence.

God, You are... Awesome.

I know, I know... "Our God is an awesome God; He reigns from heaven above..." I throw that word around waaay too much without stopping to ask myself, 'is it REALLY worthy of awe?' Awesome is defined by dictionary.com as "inspiring awe; showing or characterized by awe." I can say that a picture is awesome, or a song is awesome, and they could genuinely be awesome. However, I use it too much and I want to change that. Care to join me? Our GOD is awesome. He is worthy of our AWE and I want to spend everyday worshiping His awesomeness (:
Stay cool!
Ashley

God, You Are...

I have realized that I no longer focus on who God is. Rather, I focus on who I am. I've been trying to figure out who I am, and even though I look to God to figure it out, I fail to realize who He really is. So, starting today, I will post an adjective everyday. I'll start with A and end at Z just to make it easier to remember. Stay tuned for more(:

ReachOut

What does that even mean?
Why is she writing on the most cliche topic ever?
Does she know she didn't put a space between "reach" and "out?"
What am I reaching for?
We talked about reaching in yoga the other night...
Is this another one of her "Jesus blogs?"

The list of questions as to why I'm writing this goes on and on. Some might know, some might not, and some probably just don't care. I respect that. It is pretty cliche to talk about reaching out to people that are hurting, people facing tough times, and those that are just not living the greatest lifestyle. But what about reaching out to people around you? Those people that look like they're legitimately alright? What about your friends? Your family? Do you ReachOut to them? The answer is, most likely, a big fat NO. Although this post won't be based on faith explicitly, the applications are for everyone no matter what race, gender, creed, or religion. Everyone should ReachOut.

The reason I mash those two words together on purpose is because they belong together. You cannot reach unless you reach out. You can reach up, down, to the side, etc. But you are always reaching away from yourself. It's an action, a verb. It's a lifestyle. It's something you do to support what you believe in. It is an act of dependence; like when a child reaches for the hand of his father. It is an act of submission; as when a woman reaches for her husbands hand in marriage. It is an act of love; like when two people reach for each other for acceptance and encouragement. Everyone should ReachOut. Everyone needs to ReachOut.

You're probably saying by now, ok, Ashley, enough with the sappy stuff. What do you want me to do?
What's your point?

And all I would say is: ReachOut.

I spend a lot of time in my car. I drive about thirty minutes to and from school each day. I pass a lot of people who are either in their cars, like me, walking, riding a bicycle, or standing at a bus stop. It is during the times that I'm in my car that I see people for who they are. People don't know that I'm watching them. They don't know that someone saw them let their guard down for a split second. They don't know that I saw a smile flicker across their face as they picked up the phone to answer it. None of them know that they are as easy to read as they truly are. People are transparent. I'm serious. It might seem like some people have it all together, but catch them in their car when they think that they're all alone. You can tell the exact amount of stress they are suffering from. The amount of pain and hurt of the past is all over their faces. It's a sad thing to see. But, on my morning and afternoon commutes, I often wonder how I can reach these people. How I can ReachOut.

So. How can you ReachOut?
It could be something as simple as smiling when you pass someone in the hallway or on your way into the store. You might decide that you could ReachOut by letting that angry driver on the interstate pass you, even though they were already going twenty over the speed limit. It could be something as passive as putting a motivational or inspirational bumper sticker on you car. You could even go to the extreme and try to change the world. Maybe reaching out according to you is standing on the street corner offering Free Hugs. When you get coffee, you might want to pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru. However you want to ReachOut, that's how you ReachOut. Big, small, it doesn't matter.

Some might interpret this as a post on random acts of kindness. But I don't like that term. Random acts of kindness doesn't imply that it leaves an impression on people. It doesn't imply that you went out of your way and sacrificed something to ReachOut to someone.

Now, reaching out doesn't stop with strangers. I mentioned that before. I think it's easier to ReachOut to strangers because they won't ever see you or expect anything from you again. You made an impact in their lives, and now you're gone. But, what about friends and family? This section of the post is for the more daring. It's for the ones that like a challenge that could change their lives.

My little brother is the most annoying kid ever, at least to me. Everyone else seems to like him for some reason. It's crazy. But recently, I have decided that I can fix this little problem. I am an adult. I should be able to figure these things out, right? Well, easier said than done, that's for sure. On mission to ReachOut to my brother I encountered many many obstacles, mainly because, in order to keep up my reputation I had to keep reaching out. It was ongoing and never ending. It was frustrating and aggravating, but I learned so much!

Reaching out isn't just about smiling to people and doing nice things, it's a lifestyle. It's how you treat humanity in general. It's pure craziness, but it's so awesome. ReachOut. You won't regret it.

Too Many Topics To Put A Title.

Lately I have really been struggling with the feelings of inadequacy and mediocrity. I have it set in my head that no matter how hard I try, I can never be good enough at anything I do. This is to some extend good, because I will always be trying and trying and never giving up. But, on the other hand, I get so bent out of shape when I feel threatened that something will be taken from me. I am a worship leader, or I try to be. I feel that is God's calling for my life. But I get so intimidated at the littlest things. If someone comes to youth group and I find out that they play guitar or sing, I immediately question my ability. I know God gave me a talent and passion for music, but I am so scared of the judgment of others, but only in this area of my life. It's almost as if even though I don't really know them, I am jealous of how they play even though I haven't even heard them. I'm sick of it. I know I am inadequate in my sinful nature and since I have fallen short of the glory of God. But, it is becoming an obstacle. I don't know how to change.

Also, you know how you think God wants you to do something, and you decide to do it, and then it completely doesn't happen? That's something else that has happened. And it's the final straw that really makes me question what God is wanting for my life. I have tried to do so many things and all of them fall through.
Am I really supposed to be a worship leader?
Why did God give me passion for this if I'm not going to do anything with it?
Did He really want me to go to Faith?
Am I supposed to be a missionary?
which ultimately leads me to....
God, do You really even exist?
Obviously the answer to all of these is yes. But Satan has gotten inside my head and completely messed everything up. No longer am I a child of God seeking His will for my life. Now I am a human being trying to make the best out of the little I have. Those are the thoughts being crammed into my head and almost literally driving me crazy. Some days I just want to rock star smash all of my guitars and shred up all my music. Because after all, I don't believe God wants me to use either one of those things for Him. I just don't know what to do. I'm in a bad place right now, and it's sad. God has changed all my plans, probably so I can focus on Him and getting right with Him. I have been trying to teach others to worship but I myself have not been seeking the face of God and really trying to worship Him myself.

And here's another thing that has been 'haunting' me for a while. Until just a few weeks ago, I convinced that God didn't have anyone for me. I was completely against the idea of marriage. I thought, every man I have ever met has disappointed me at one point and I don't think I can deal with that for the rest of my life. But that has changed. I actually WANT a husband at some point. And I KNOW that God has someone for me. It's like, I haven't ever been chosen. I'm just put into peoples' lives and while I know they love me, they didn't necessarily choose me. My parents didn't choose me, my friends didn't really choose me... but I want to be chosen. I know God has a guy out there that will choose me for me and choose me out of EVERY other girl in the world to spend his life with. I know it won't happen soon, but the thought of making that sort of commitment and putting that much trust into a person freaks me out. I don't trust people. At all. But I know that if I do pursue this kind of relationship I'll have to trust. It scares me.

So, yeah.

There's my life.