There is nothing funny or amusing about being lied to. This is an obvious fact. In the past few days I have really learned what unconditional love between friends is like when faced with the issue of dishonesty. Paul commanded us to love each other, as Christ loved the church. The name for this love is agape. It is unconditional, sacrificial love. It means no matter what, you love the other person. They can use you, lie to you, completely humiliate you, and you still love them. You might not like them, or enjoy being around them for some time, but you are always there to sacrifice for them because you have that rare love for them. It's like that Relient K song... "You know I'll always love you, but right now I just don't like you." This is obviously a stretch when talking about agape love, but it really does say it all. That is the kind of love we are to have for friends. We need to realize that you can love, but dislike someone at the same time. And that is a hard fact to face. Many times all we want to say is basically, "Man, forget you. You can't be honest and open to me then I guess you were never really my friend to begin with." But that is so wrong. Even though you might feel hurt, slapped, betrayed, and just plain discouraged, you are commanded as a follower of Christ to love those same people with His kind of sacrificial love. And as my mom would say, that's why it says it in the Bible. Because it's hard to do.
So here are some steps for stirring up that agape love that you desire, but really don't want at the same time.
1. Admit that you don't love like that in the first place. Come on, you know that you would probably never give your life up for that one girl that stole your boyfriend and hit your dog with her car. Who would ever do that?? Answer... You! Because the Bible clearly says that you have to, so do it!
2. Identify why you haven't committed to loving people. Everyone has reasons for why they don't love people. Maybe you were hurt in the past, maybe you just don't trust people, or it could be that you don't love yourself to begin with. Whatever it is, don't just sit there and wallow in your sorrow. Fix it, and try to love.
3. Look at the life of Jesus to learn how to love. Obviously Jesus is the best role model. He loved us so much He gave His life for us. I'm not saying you need to go find a cross and crucify yourself to show that you really do love people, but the little things He did. Talking to the prostitute when no one else would, teaching the children, encouraging His followers, just things He did that were out of His way but showed His love for people.
4. Believe that you can love like that. It's no secret that sometimes as humans we have trouble believing in ourselves. And those who are lost and away from God really have no reason to believe in themselves because they have no hope for a better day. If Christ is in your heart, you can love just as He loves you. No doubt about it.
5. Just do it! Get off your high horse and be like the rest of us. You are not better, nor worse than anyone. All that pride you have in your heart is what is keeping you from loving. Just let it go, and learn to love. Nike said it all when they came out with that slogan, because that's all you really need to do. This is the only time where this phrase actually applies: Don't think, just act. You've made the decision that you want it, you know you need it, so just do it.
These steps might not be the best and I'm sure anyone with a PH. D. could come in here and tear up everything that I have written and give you some completely different steps to get you to the same place, but this is how I learned. It's not very deep, but it doesn't have to be. Everyone always talks about changing the world, well, this is how we can do it. Just love the people around you and it may just start a chain reaction. That's all I really have to say. My trust and love for a friend has really been tried over the past couple days, but it really did show me how I need that unconditional love for everyone. It's life changing, and I hope you can experience this liberating feeling that I have experienced as of late. Thank you for reading, I really hope you got something out of it, or were at least entertained by my mediocre theology.
Ashley
"This is my command: Love each other."
~John 15:17
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